i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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