Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
