Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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