I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
