u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Randomize
