the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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