can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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