your room smells of hookers.
And success
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
