Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
