The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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