i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
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