is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
