You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize