Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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