How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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