You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
