i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You are the jesus of drinking
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Randomize
