i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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