Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
