she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
