Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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