This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
