you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
We left the knife in your bed.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
