So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Randomize
