I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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