ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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