Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
