Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
