The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
