my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
