the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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