He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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