Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
