I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Randomize
