So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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