she woke up with a sticky ear
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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