But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Are my feet made of real feet?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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