I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Randomize