we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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