We won't sleep together?
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
please come you make the beer taste better
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
