I only kidnapped one of them. chill
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
