i just google imaged poop.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
