I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
