Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
