69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
