okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
