That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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