It's like God shit irony all over that family
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I have tasted many bathrooms
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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