i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
