I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
